"The bright dancing lights of the aurora are actually collisions between electrically charged particles from the sun that enter the earth's atmosphere. Instead of traveling to the North or South Poles, you can now experience this Arctic lightshow conveniently around the orbit of your own melon." -Nicky Copernicus PRODUCT SPECS: *Limited Edition 1 of 1 *Stitched by Human Hands *6-Panel…
"Were it not for the usual sexual asymmetry present in our language and culture, "loose man" would be a reasonable synonym for "womanizer", and "womanizer" would be a reasonable translation for "Chico Mujeriego!" -La Jornada PRODUCT SPECS: *Limited Edition 1 of 1 *Stitched by Human Hands *6-Panel Cap, Flat Bill, Snapback Closure *One Size Fits Most *Add 3 drops of…
"It is estimated that the raw power of a Claw paw swipe is around 10,000 lbs of force. The sharpest Claws at the tips of paws, this swipe is one of gnarliest in the animal kingdom. Besides mutant polar bears, a swipe from the Claw paw is one of the most deadly." -S.D. Attenborough PRODUCT SPECS: *Limited Edition 1 of…
"Shit happens when you party naked!" -Captain Phil PRODUCT SPECS: *Limited Edition 1 of 1 *Stitched by Human Hands *6-Panel Cap, Flat Bill, Snapback Closure *One Size Fits Most *Batteries not included *Complimentary Penicillin shot at participating locations SHIPPING: NOW
"A colloquial expression used when persons are near or beyond their capacity to handle a situation or cannot catch up. Struggling. Very busy. Hopelessly behind." -Bottomless Mimosa Sunday Brunch PRODUCT SPECS: *Limited Edition 1 of 1 *Stitched by Human Hands *6-Panel Cap, Flat Bill, Snapback Closure *One Size Fits Most *Chits to the floor piling up to impossible heights, not…
"An unfamiliar yet richly complex tune played upon harmonic strings of caleidoscopic colors; he's done it again. Bravo Maestro!" -The Times PRODUCT SPECS: *Limited Edition 1 of 1 *Stitched by Human Hands *6-Panel Cap, Flat Bill, Snapback Closure *One Size Fits Most *Enhanced musical capabilities may vary *Arrogant jerk-off attitude optional SHIPPING: NOW
"Pink Hearts, Orange Stars, Yellow Moons, Green Clovers, Blue Diamonds, and Purple Horseshoes!" -L. Leprechaun PRODUCT SPECS: *Limited Edition 1 of 1 *Stitched by Human Hands *6-Panel Cap, Flat Bill, Snapback Closure *One Size Fits Most *Hat doubles as a cereal bowl *Secret warp portal opens when placed at rainbow's end SHIPPING: NOW
"Amore: una follia temporanea curabile dal matrimonio." -Ambrose Bierce PRODUCT SPECS: *Limited Edition 1 of 1 *Stitched by Human Hands *6-Panel Cap, Flat Bill, Snapback Closure *Perfect fit *Show someone you love them to death *Totally not obsessed, at all SHIPPING: NOW
"I think I should warn you all, when a vampire bites it, it's never a pretty sight. No two blood suckers go out the same way. Some yell and scream, some go quietly, some explode, some implode. But, all will try and take your hat with them." -Edgar Frog PRODUCT SPECS: *Limited Edition 1 of 1 *Stitched by Manos de…
"You're a grand ol' hat, you're a high-flying hat...and forever on heads may you lay. You're the emblem of, the head I love - the hope of the free and the brave!" -Patriots Everywhere PRODUCT SPECS: *Limited Edition 1 of 1 *Stitched by Human Hands *6-Panel Cap, Flat Bill, Snapback Closure *One Size Fits Most *Constitutional immunity levels may vary…
"We're goin' inside 'em! We're goin' outside 'em! Inside then outside! When we get 'em on the run, we're gonna keep'em on the run - and we ain't gonna stop until we get over that shore line!" -Neptune Knute PRODUCT SPECS: *Limited Edition 1 of 1 *Stitched by Human Hands *6-Panel Cap, Flat Bill, Snapback Closure *One Size Fits Most…
"When the top layer of skin on your tongue peels off, the dead skin is peeled away and new growth can come through for your tongue to start healing again." -All Dentists PRODUCT SPECS: *Limited Edition 1 of 1 *Stitched by Human Hands *6-Panel Cap, Flat Bill, Snapback Closure *Perfect fit *Toothbrush & Toothpaste not included SHIPPING: NOW
"I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok." -Shaq Fu PRODUCT SPECS: *Limited Edition 1 of 1 *Stitched by Human Hands *6-Panel Cap, Flat Bill, Snapback Closure *One Size Fits Most *Required Courtside Attire *Good for 1 complimentary Shaq Fu lesson SHIPPING: NOW
"Manipulation Strategy #3: Use Body Language To Your Advantage - The way the brain stimulates physical movements and reactions during day-to-day interactions is almost uncontrollable." -Four Ways to Manipulate PRODUCT SPECS: *Limited Edition 1 of 1 *Stitched by Human Hands *6-Panel Cap, Flat Bill, Snapback Closure *One Size Fits Most *You'll look sooooo good. *Everybody's doing it. *There's never been…
"Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing (and accessories)." -Wilshire Country Club Mgmt. PRODUCT SPECS: *Limited Edition 1 of 1 *Stitched by Human Hands *6-Panel Cap, Flat Bill, Snapback Closure *One Size Fits Most *Banana Balls and Barkies unavoidable *Lowest score buys SHIPPING: NOW
""It's like The Kill...only BIGGER, FATTER, STINKIER, HAIRIER and SCARIER." -Sasquatch PRODUCT SPECS: *Limited Edition 1 of 1 *Stitched by Human Hands *6-Panel Cap, Flat Bill, Snapback Closure *One Size Fits Most *Dubious claims to prove existence are futile *More human than animal SHIPPING: NOW
"Las Vegas WAS and IS a hard town that will make you pay for your inability to restrain your desires. If you have weaknesses, Las Vegas will punish you. That said, DOUBLE DOWN!" -Ancient Vegas Proverb PRODUCT SPECS: *Limited Edition 1 of 1 *Stitched by Human Hands *6-Panel Cap, Flat Bill, Snapback Closure *One Size Fits Most *Vegas "good luck…
"A mixture of south of Crowley gibberish and a dash of Bosch Cajun English dusted in Old Bay. Mais yea cher. Dem haters can bete mon choux. Daygum baw, errybody know dat." -French Cajun Flavour PRODUCT SPECS: *Limited Edition 1 of 1 *Stitched by Human Hands *6-Panel Cap, Flat Bill, Snapback Closure *One Size Fits Most *W’lepheh piohn natteh SHIPPING:…
